Oh, Tom!

“Hey, I’m going out for a sec.”

Just a post-it on the side table with those words scribbled in such a scurried handwriting. And just like that, I never saw him again. He disappeared, like a scared little boy. Love, is a word that boy could never understand. Love, is foreign to him. But Love, is everything to me.

Distraught and fueled with fire, ready to charge, ready to pull a trigger, I felt every inch of my body trembled with such fury. That was the first wave of emotions after being used like a recycle bin. The second wave hits with no mercy, streams of tears, and a heart that ached a sea of misery. Lastly, the third wave; I let it go.

Three years later, there he is with an Ariel in his arms beaming with such happiness and it hit me; the word hypocrite tainted on his forehead. He told me, he could never fall in love, he could never settle with one girl but that was just petty lies isn’t it, Tom? I was fooled, yes.

Reviving the part where I did say love is everything to me, well I meant was. Silly, little girl thinking that fairytale love do exist, but can they co-exist with cheaters, liars, and snaked bastards like him? I don’t think so.

To end up marrying a man who’s name is even more famous than your own president, who’s traveled the world to consume fandom, who’s band is the most celebrated band in Germany, that is just a nightmare that your heart disguised as a dream because it will never come true unless, you are stepping on the same stone as him; a rockstar. Unlike me, I was just a fan who struck gold one night.

Though, save the salty pool of tears. Revenge is a sweet, silent killer that doesn’t involve a dead body but a series of unfortunate events and an unwanted happy ending. If Tom’s a cold blooded horrendous soul who “doesn’t” believe in love. There’s always a hopeless romantic version of him. A real life version, except with a little more wit and a little more good looks.

How does it feel, Tom to know your little brother is engaged to a girl you once told her she was your love at first sight? One week, that was all it took for us both to fall in love. Only one special day, for me to break you.

There it was a card delivered right in front of his doorstep.

 “You are Cordially Invited to …& Bill Kaulitz Trümper wedding.”

 Scratch the fact that I struck gold, I think I struck platinum.

BK Dirty Bass Series I: If I Die Tomorrow

Laser neon lights shaded in blue, red, green were shooting across the dark room, the ground was shaking as the speaker gagged some raunchy loud music and the heat was totally unbearable! "How can they even breathe in here?" I was panting, inadequate of oxygen, trying to get myself out from the dance floor while the wild crowd seemed to be pushing me with their art of body gesture to the sexy beat from Pitbull. It was a typical Saturday night party of booze and sultry music, it is where all hell break loose, of where the sinners unfortunately getting drunk and high, throwing away with the idea of being a saint.

Truthfully, I hated this club! But If you were asking me why the hell did I sign up for it at the first place? The answer is because of him, the one who was always seen lounging around in the V.I.P section. This was his favourite club. Every weekend one of the V.I.P booths was being booked for his presence. All eyes on him as he entered the club, strutting in like a rockstar. Well, he is in fact one. And my sight never fails to be taken away by his inhumanly beautiful face. He loved it there, in his private booth, away from everyone, with having only a few people from his clique. And even if the music was pumping too loud, he finds it rather peaceful to just sit there and relax, sipping his whiskey & coke while puffing his cigarette on the other hand. I have never seen him coming out from the booth, making his way in style to the dance floor. Maybe dancing isn't his thing. Although sometimes, I did notice his body was getting into groove, following to the wave of the music. Oh how I wish to dance with him! I never really liked to dance, but somehow his dashing look and sexy body makes me feel all jittery from the inside. Kill me for being a sinner of lusting for him. All thanks to him, I just couldn't leave this place for good even though I hated the crazy club atmosphere they have it in here, always too crowded and too wild. Although, I've been longing to get his attention for far too long now. But what can I say, he's a rockstar and I'm just an ordinary girl in a sexy clothing, trying my best to create some sexy dance moves with my sexy body just to get a little attention. As if seeking for an attention from him or anyone else is gonna be that easy since there are a lot more of my species pulling their best clubbing outfit ever equipped with an exotic look and intoxicating moves, dancing the night away in this particular LA club. I had given up on getting his eyes laid on me, indeed he usually shoot his stare at the dance floor but obviously not at me.

Long gone the days of my act of stalking and stealing the attention from a rockstar who happened not to fall for it, anyway. It's been weeks since I've last visited this club and I just had to choose this Saturday night of horror to make a comeback. It wasn't really a good night, especially when you're trapped in a storm of heavily drunken people in a middle of the dance floor. The club was undeniable full and packed because of this stupid someone was hosting a party for the night! And I guess the host has decided to suck all the people from LA in! I wonder who was the 'genius' behind the idea of throwing a party at the most famous club in town when it is already packed every Saturday night. Feeling claustrophobic, all you have in mind was to leave. The music was still drumming in my ears as I was making my sweet escape through the crowd. The exit door was still far from my reach, no way I could leave this place any time soon. "Guess I'm stuck in here for the whole night." I stopped and sighed. But at least the crowd was slowly moving away as the music paused, giving me some air to finally breathe. I turned my back around, helplessly giving up to use the main door for an exit, "or maybe they can let me use the back door" ..and there it was, a silhouette figure of a person who clearly has a killer sense of style, standing in front of me, right in the middle of the dance floor.

I couldn't really see who it was but I could feel his eyes were staring at me. I totally ignored him as my mind kept flashing the idea of using the back door as an escape route. "Leaving too soon?" In the midst of a booty-shaking track from Far East Movement, I could hear him whisper to my ears as I came in closer to walk past him. He grabbed my arm quickly before I could even make my next move and I shuddered at his sudden touch. Clearly this club rat wouldn't let me go if I just ignore him. So, I decided to play along. "What's in it for me that worth my stay?" The lasers were shooting in a fast motion, flickering and changing its vibrant colours in each second, I couldn't really see his whole face but I caught him smiling. Judging by his charming smile, I knew he would be one of the guys I would totally go for. Although, those snakebites seems pretty familiar.

Catchy beat was still banging and roaring the club scene but this time around, the lines of the song were dancing away in a melody. It was sang by a beautiful voice, I presumed layered with an auto-tune. I recognized the song, it was his voice, the rockstar I long laid my eyes on. 

"If I die tomorrow-o-ow, 

That-That m-means we had the night of our life! 

If tomorrow-o-ow never comes, 

Then-Then tonight we lose control!" 

"The song tells it all, do I need to say more?" I could see his eyes now under a strip of a laser light, they were seducing me with his playful wink.
"Is this how you asked a girl to dance? by using lines of a song which happens to appear on a right timing?"
"Those lines are originally mine, fair enough. You see, I've been waiting for you to come back and you came right on time, welcome to my party." With a pinch of flirtiness, he smeared another cheeky smile on his face and right instance, my night vision was getting clearer and it immediately stunted me. Killer style, deadly smiles and gorgeous face, it was none other than him, Bill fucking Kaulitz!

The crowd was getting back to their wilderness, pushing me directly to him. I fell on his chest and I could hear his heart was beating and pounding fast, and so as mine. Bill couldn't help but to smile even more. He then, leaned in close, lifting up my chin and purposely brushing his luscious lips on my blushed cheeks to give me an inviting whisper, "I want a dance. And I want you, sexy angel."

Party Like a Rockstar!

Here I am, yet again, spilling my sorrow to all you shameful readers out there. Shame on you who would want to know the secret lies within my pathetic rockstar life. But no matter, I'm here to share. How's life been so far for a young German rockstar like me? Well, life has been supa great! Of course, living in L.A really paid off! I've been partying almost every weekend, or should I say everyday? I dare you to judge me! Pfft..this is like the only time where I can find a peace of mind outside the tensed studio life. Give me a break, when I say the album is on going and will be out soon, trust me, it will! It may take some time but heck, stay patient now people. I need to enjoy my life too, who says you're the only who could do that? I won't be getting my freedom once the album is out, can't you understand that? Sigh. So in the meantime, let me partay! What? You hate me for partying? You want me to stick my butt in the studio 24/7 and get the album done a.s.a.p? What? I can't hear you, the music is too loud! #YOLO

To tell you the truth, that EDC party was the bomb! I had a blast! Yeah, that's how you rolled in Vegas, baby! And who needs Tom now? He can go party elsewhere and have all the fun with his girlfriend but for I, on the other hand couldn't care less about it! Plus, they need to get themselves a room! Well hello, little brother is always around and I'm not blind, you know! So what the heck? I got my party crew by my side and we're ready to party at any time and any where we want to! Booze, ciggy and booty-shaking music, oh this is the life of a lonesome rockstar! Hell yeah!

Can't forget my EDC Weekend! - Bill 

Damn I wish I could get laid with a random pretty girl at the bar! Too bad, my head consumed me with thousand thinking thoughts and I ended up muttering to myself, "better not!" Yes, Bill Kaulitz. It's dangerous! No, you're too dangerous! Certainly not going to unleash my inner lust for a one night stand, not my expertise, sorry. Hence, I'll be sitting at the lounge, doing what I do best; puffing the smoke away with a ciggy, eye-candy on people while talking to some designers who I must say, really enthusiastic on promoting themselves to let me hire them for my next wardrobe collection or making me as one of their models, perhaps? Obviously, they couldn't deny the fact that I'm hot and wanted! *flips hair* oh wait, where's my hair? Opps, silly me, I'm a baldly now! but I'm hot, still. and yes, I'm Bill, still :D

Tom's DSDS Fashion, Hot or Not?

Here as per request, TH!E fashion file report is back! Well forget about the fashionisto of this band for a while, let's take a look at his twin brother's fashion, instead! I'd say he deserves a special DSDS Liveshow TK fashion review, too! Long gone of the hip-hop wannabe days as the stunning Tom has found a secret entry door to Bill's couture closet! So, is Tom gonna make a fashion statement out of what he wore as hot as Bill? Let's find out as we flashback to the DSDS liveshow and hey, bring out the star ratings board!

DSDS Liveshow #1 

"In your shadow, I can shine!" 

While Bill was having a feast and luring all the ladies on his dining table. Tom here has created a totally opposite look from his brother's old French century attire. Possibly trying to look like the rockstar of the band, he showed up with a classic black leather biker jacket that shouts "Hey baby, wanna take a ride on my bike after the show?" You have to agree with me, biker jacket is that one piece of clothing which got you turned on by just taking one good look at the sexy man who rocks it out! It's a SMOKING HOT piece, no doubt. In fact, it was the first ever Tom showed to the world his new hairstyle, yeah no more dreads, just plain straight long hair tied in a messy ponytail. It doesn't make him look like a girl somehow, phew! All in black, Tom may have sunk in Bill's limelight but to be a shadow paid off as well, say "In your shadow, I can shine!" Tom should sing the song to Bill instead ;p But wait, is that a bomb hanging in your pocket? I get it, black equals to mafia, too!

 Ratings: ***** 

DSDS Liveshow #2 

"Oversized never gets old." 

Flaunting with an oversized jacket seems to be that one ideal look for Tom Kaulitz since like his teenage years! Not gonna show the world your perfectly buffed up body, eh Tom? I guess his signature old look has never die out! He likes it big, XXXL for a comfy wear perhaps? But thankfully, as he grew up, the XXXL size has loosen some of the X, shrunk the size to XL for a change. It came to his senses, the fitter the better! Just a simple black pants and a grey t-shirt underneath a quite a colourful oversized jacket (circus-themed, judging by the colour, lol), this rocker loves to keep it simple and gave the opportunity for his little brother to shine out way brighter than he is!

 Ratings: *** 

DSDS Liveshow #3 

"Loving him was Red." 

Yeah as Taylor Swift would have said it in Red. We love him and the red stands out! Obviously, if it goes on with black. Again, going for a chill back simpler look, Tom tried to keep the spotlight away from him as much as possible. "Yeah, direct them to Bill, not me!" But somehow, I think he rocks it better on that liveshow with his attire compared to Bill who was donning that hideous Christian Lacroix's rodeo jacket, haha! Way to go, Tom! The red jacket looks sleek and totally fashionable for someone who considered to wear something hip-hop-ish once upon a time ago! ;p

 Ratings: ***** 

DSDS Liveshow #4 

"Black is the new Black?" 

Black again, Tom? but this time in denim. Wait a minute, I had almost forgotten, once quoted by Bill, "But now, i must choose Black, the color of Tom's soul." no wonder he chose this colour so often for his attire! Nevertheless, Tom looks good in black and that shouldn't be a problem if he wanted to bring out his inner dark soul. One thing for sure, that half tied pushback hairstyle has been staying put for 3 shows in a row! ;p

Ratings: ** 

DSDS Liveshow #5 

"Sk8er Boi" 

Yes, matching with his twin brother but with a little effort of pulling out his fashion sense, the old hip-hop Tom is back. Not entirely ghetto, only the cap counts though. And yes, baggy clothes. I'd say Tom looks like one of those rebel boys in high school who happens to vandalize the school with spray paints and rule the hallway with a skateboard! Skater boy on a prowl, he lost his way and making an entry to a liveshow. Not really fond of this look, kinda thrashy and tacky a bit for our Tom Kaulitz. I mean come on now Tom, you could have done better instead of throwing in a dull checkered shirt! You're only getting one star, one less what Bill had gotten! at least Bill looks more presentable, so he scores a lil bit more, haha ;p

Ratings: * 

DSDS Liveshow #6 

"the last look back is Black." 

And here we are, ladies and gentlemen, another black! and another jacket (a unique piece, I must say. just look at the design) over a simple attire. As expected, simple is his middle name, didn't even bother to outshine his stylish little brother. Well, I suspect Bill has threaten to kill Tom if he steals the limelight. The rule; Tom will go all simple and let Bill have all the spotlight and attention. Hence, the simple Tom was unleashed ;p Nah, we knew Tom very well that he has less fashion sense compared than Bill, no doubt his look would turned out boring, sometimes.

 Ratings: *** 

DSDS Liveshow #7 

"Checkered, checked!"

Checkered for a liveshow, hmm? Yeah, I have my own strict fashion policy, never go for checkered for a liveshow, don't really think it's a good idea. If it's semi-formal or formal, try and avoid wearing anything relates to checkered. Jeans too. However, I'd make an exception for Tom with his baggy jeans though since he's a hip-hop rockstar who suits well in it. But hey, all thanks to that v-neck t-shirt he wore underneath, Tom scores high in the sexy column! Who wouldn't love if a sexy guy revealed a little sexy chest for us to drool over, now? ;p p/s: I love it when he dons that messy ponytail with a few strands of hair falling out, totally sexy! 

Ratings: **** 

DSDSLiveshow #8 

"Damn it, denim!" 

Okay I'll stay cool with your denim style and not gonna blab it out negatively saying it would be inappropriate for a liveshow if you promise to do more exploration in Bill's closet, do we have a deal, Tom? haha! Not a huge fan for this one, but Tom managed to strut himself good and so, i'm all good with that ;)

Ratings: *** 

DSDS Liveshow Finale #9 

 "Stop! put your hands up in the air!" 

Uh oh! don't be too naughty now, Aliens! or Mr.Tom Kaulitz from the special sexy force might shoot you with his gun! IF that is he has one in those vest. Don't ya think he'd make one super stunning cop in this attire? And talk about that plain tight white tee that hugs his torso perfectly! Finally, a perfect ending to DSDS with an eye candy treat for us all! All eyes on his man boobs, i mean muscular hot bod, whoa it's getting hot in here! Please don't wish him to take his clothes off, now or the heat will doubled up! ;p

Ratings: ***** 

Ella's Star Ratings
* Take it off or I'll tear it into pieces!
** Get me a blindfold, I can't take another look! 
*** Trust me, you can do it better!
**** Rock out with that fashion, baby! 
***** OMG, you're a total Fashion God! Strut for me, baby!

Ready to Take Off, Aliens?

" The best male-choir you will ever have the chance to listen to! "

Another surprise is revealed when our boys recently posted a photo of them in the studio doing a little choir! I must say, the anticipation of the new album is killing us all! A choir recited by Bill, Tom, Georg and Gustav altogether (with an addition of an unknown man), whoa! ;O that has never happened before in the Tokio Hotel history! So, there's gonna be a song where they will sing together instead of letting alone Bill sing on his own. Trust me Aliens, this coming album is gonna blow us straight to mars! or better yet to Humanoid City of where we actually belong ;) But the only question still remains, what's taking them so long? I'd say they're probably making one supermassive blackhole album that requires a lot of work and of course, a lot of patience is needed by us! So have you prepared for the biggest meteorite coming on your way? to hit our beloved Humanoid City? Get ready! Aliens. I'm pretty sure once the new album comes out, BOOM! your feet are no longer touching the ground, a new set of inhumanly sexy rulers will take you off to a new dimension of where their music will be drumming in your ears non-stop, it would be an ecstasy you just can't get enough off! Houston, we have a problem ..behold a new city is created, pack your bags, we'll be leaving Humanoid City, soon! ;)

Hello Sexay Skinhead! ;)

He had it short.

He had it long.

He dyed it jet black.

He dyed it grey.

He dyed it blonde.

And one day, the sexy lion king decided to throw away his mane hair! 

How did it turned out?

TADAA!

Bill: ''I was neat, clean, shaved and sober and i didn't care who knew it'' - Raymond Chandler

Oh Goodness Gracious, I think I'd have a heart attack! ;O breathe, breathe..
"OMFG! asdfghjkl! Bill, what have you done?" And that would probably be our reaction when we witnessed the lion king has finally shaved his head! Like really shaved it off clean! Don't say I didn't warn ya, I did tell you sooner or later, he's gonna get bored of that long blonde hair he was wearing! But obviously, I didn't expect him to go with this kind of hairdo, thought it was more like a crazy hairdo with a crazy neon dye! It was a shocking surprise! but he shocked us good! I'm guessing our Mr. Bill Kaulitz here has decided to keep his hair all neat and almost bald, say goodbye to the extensions and hairspray days! or maybe it was for his own good? Hair gone terribly damaged eh? Hence, shaving is the only solution. I knew it that Tom wouldn't be trolling us off with his previous post of that icky lump of hair picture, ahah! No way it was their dogs' hair or even Georg's, it was definitely Bill's! Now now, Aliens, calm down! It's just a hair matter, you don't need to make a big deal out of it and leaving the fandom with a silly reason of hating Bill for doing what he desire! He seeks for changes, let it be! Plus his statement said it all, whether you like it or not, he wouldn't give a damn about it! So people, you still wanna judge? Go ahead for Bill doesn't give a shit! But come on now, with or without hair, Bill would look stunning as ever, as always! Well, the TH!E team thinks he can score big time if he can pulled off this hairdo, flawlessly! Hear that Bill, strut it out sexily, skinhead! We can't wait to see you rocking with this super clean cut! Manly points for you *ding ding ding ding ding ding ding* the bell seemed to have blown up, uh oh! So beware, Bill Kaulitz..

" I am cannibal, I'll eat you up, RAWR! ;p "

Germans in Argentinean Restaurant in US.

So, you're planning to have a little dinner at a particular restaurant in your town. Say, somewhere near the table where you're sitting, two gorgeous rockstars seemed to be having their dinner too for that night! And voila, this actually happens! Wow reality ain't gonna bite you, this time around! A lucky girl, you are to have caught our sexy kaulitz twins enjoying a dinner meal at the same place as you were enjoying your dinner.

"I WENT TO AN ARGENTINEAN RESTAURANT CALLED 1810 IN PASADENA AND AS I'M WALKING TOWARDS IT I SEE A GUY IN A BEANIE WHO LOOKS LIKE A TOTALLY HIPSTER, MAYBE KINDA DOUCHY AND I THOUGHT, ONLY EUROPEAN MODELS HAVE AN EXCUSE TO WEAR THOSE, IN THE US YOU JUST DON'T!" says by you.

Who wouldn't notice him, right? And obviously, when it comes to a term of labeling Bill as a male model, his handsome face has definitely caught your eyes! You couldn't deny the fact that, Bill is indeed a stunning man in real life. Talk about being photoshopped like most of the time, pfft! Heck, perfection has a name and it is spelled as Bill Kaulitz. The funny thing was, how come Bill is sitting next to Tom and not Ria? easy peasy, lemon squeezey, duh Tom loves Bill more! and they'd make a better couple haha! kidding ;p

But wait! here's the SCOOP: are we seeing this clear? Is Bill donning a new hair dye under that beanie? Hmm..I gotta say, it's 50/50. It's either his hair roots grew long or he dyed it dark back again! Whoa now, no more the lion king? err.. welcome back prince of darkness!? Don't say I didn't warn ya, Aliens! I did tell you that he'll get bored of his hair eventually and will constantly experimenting a new do every now and then! But I'm not expecting it to be this soon though. Come out, come out now Bill, show us your hair! Is it still blonde? or you're rocking it dark again! ;)

Source: TheShadowGrove

Expect the Unexpected! ;)

For the 4th time in a row ..here we are, still standing strong! Make yourself proud, Aliens for our recent victory on winning the best fan army ever! Wuhuu! Congratulations! And with that, don't put us on the waiting line anymore, Tokio Hotel! You guys gotta give us a little something for what we deserve! two words, new album! As Bill has promised us, there would be a new music, soon! SOON. You've been using that word a lot of times already and trust me, the Aliens are getting sick of hearing it over and over again because alas, that 'SOON' would turned into years! haha ;p Soon, Monsoon, hey it rhymes! Soon would be a good title for your new single, ahah! XD Better work your sexy asses off, boys! We want that soon to be really meant as soon!

 

But whatever happens, the wait continues. Nevermind just let them do their work, they're creating something magically, extraterrestrial! and i bet it's worth the wait! and are you sure you're ready to see them back in action? I know I'm not! Easy to say, they are actually giving us some time to prepare ourselves for the newly improved Tokio Hotel! So, make a good use of the time with your fangirling preparation! ;) Now while we're expecting their new baby to come out, I'm putting some notes of what we should expect on their new album production. Aside from selling gazillion numbers of album and sold out concert tickets, I'm hoping Tokio Hotel would make a big comeback with a lot of surprises! But hey, my expectation weighs more on the lead singer, he is in fact the frontman, the band's focal point, So here's what I wanna see from him!

#1. Bill with a new crazy sexy hairdo!

I know some of you guys are pretty much happy with his current lion mane hair! But I don't think Bill would be keeping it for a long time. You gotta believe me though when I say he would look sexy anyway even with an ugly hair! Opps, did I just say, ugly? Teehee, I'm not really fond of his blondie long hairdo! What I'm expecting to see is Bill rocking out with a new haircut and hair dye for the new album! This might happen as you know Bill follows the trend or was it the trend follows Bill!?

#2. Bill playing Guitar or Piano

This is definitely the most expected miracle thing that I'm dying to see it happen! And yes the chance is there for Tom has revealed that there's gonna be a work of music art created between Bill and a secret musical instrument for the new album. Just imagine, Bill is singing while playing a guitar or piano, a beautiful voice serenading you while a beautiful melody is being strummed or played with his tattooed hand. Uber sexay! Plus, he needs a new bedazzled musical gear, yeah the old crystal carat mic needs a companion! it's lonely like you, Bill, lol. Well, i'd say the rock God should have an electric guitar! ;)

#3. Bill kissing a girl in a Music Video

Just to spice things up, hire a beautiful model and let Bill's lips do the magic for once in a while instead of letting the robots do the steamy romance scene, HAHA! By far I think this is the most impossible thing to expect from Tokio Hotel for like ever! and some of you would definitely not agree with me on this! You'd die to see Bill kissing another girl else than you, right? I'm a Bill fan and I know how it would make you feel like. But let's just say I'm desiring to have a heart attack just because of it! ;p Okay, if  that's too much, perhaps a real good video would do, yes no more of concert or backstage footage, pretty please! :D

Those are my expectation specifically on Bill for the new album but hey they say, "good things happen when you least expected it." Maybe I shouldn't expect this and that at the first place and just be surprised with what the boys are gonna serve us up this time around? ;)