I am Bill Kaulitz, your fuckin' Rockstar!

WARNING: THIS IS ONLY A FICTION.

The afternoon scorching Sun of L.A breaks in my window and yet another 'wonderful' day of my life has just begun. I force myself to open my eyes, sighing and wishing it would be night instead so that I could continue with my hibernation. Unfortunately, my energy bar is at its fullest, no way I could go back to sleep! "Oh scheisse! Why do I have to get up?" *bury my face in the pillow*

I wish to be in dreamland forever, wanna know why? I hate my life! Yes, even though I'm a famous person, a Rockstar, a sexy one, not to mention ..who got million of girls all over the world begging on their knees just to get my attention! which eventually they won't getting any. Pfft, I do feel tired at times living in this stardom life, for all that matters I'm just loving the luxurious treatment being served if you are one. I love being treated as a king, heck they (my fans) even gave me a nickname that goes by 'Lion King' coincidentally just because of my lion mane hair! More reasons to love the Aliens, danke. But somehow, I have to admit at times, they drove me mad! Easy to say, everyone drove me mad! It's like everything I do and every step I take, I'm being watched over. Did someone hire a secret agent to spy on me? Oh wait, that's just the paparazzi! Chasing me like an idiot, and I feel like laughing my ass off because some of them doesn't even know who am I and yet they still chase me crazily as if I'm a delicious mouth-watering meat to feed on the lions. Again with the lion, sorry couldn't help myself with this big cat! You see my problem here? I'm a fuckin' rockstar but I hate being the center of attention when it comes to filming my private life. "Shut the fuck up, Bill Kaulitz! You're the one who chose this path!" my inner self kept telling me that every time I started to whine about my 'oh-so-amazing' life! Most of the time, I feel like I'm being trapped, caged, imprisoned or whatsoever you called it by reality. I know reality bites! but my reality bites me 'good'!

For God's sake, I can't even date anyone at the moment! I can but I refuse to. Hence, I've created tons of statements saying, "I haven't found the right one yet.", "I still believe in love at first sight.", "I have no time for love.", "I will wait until love come and fly to me." and bla bla bla ..yes, just to please the society! I might have a feeling that they can't even handle themselves, seeing me having a lover now, can't they? Heck, I'm still curing myself from my previous heartbreak, well at least I think I am. No wonder all of my song words sounded like melodramatic shit! In that case, I should scream out loud, "Hey everybody, I'm still single and nobody loves me!" to make a clear statement to all of you! Happy now? I know I'm not. Someone out there is waiting for me but I don't wanna risk my life of finding my angel, it's an a act of suicidal! Yeah, I'll be facing a funeral party if I do that because I know my adoring fangirls would be mourning over the death of my single-and-lonely relationship status, some would rather see me turned gay too! That's a no surprise, I've been called gay from the very moment I started out my music career! All thanks to my androgynous look and killer style! Secretly, I'm getting sick of it! Hence, it came to a point where I started to cut my hair short, grow stubble, ditch the eye-liner and gain muscles! Do I look pretty to you now? Yes? No? Oh well, at least I've tried to shake it off the pretty look but no matter how hard I've tried, I am still the same old Bill Kaulitz. Although I look manly now, people won't stop saying I'm gay because I still believe in true love. Wtf, right? People judge me too quickly and I can't even pull a smile on my face and stare at a random guy, they would ship me and that particular guy for sure! This whole thing made me think twice, am I really gay? Honestly I'm not even sure, myself. Even so, why should I announce it to the world, huh? All I wanted is to be in love, simple. BUT why can't they let me be in love? Tom could but not me! It sucks like hell!

So tell me, with that, how can you live a day without being stressed out by reality? There's only one solution to that, ciggy! Puffing one after another to ease my mind over negative things. Yes, I'm addicted to smoking. I've already said once upon a time ago, I smoke like a chimney! It bothers me a lot when I jokingly said that I'm trying to stop smoking (which I am!) and people take it in seriously like serious shit! I know it's bad for my health and my precious voice but I'm fuckin' stressed out and you're making me more stressed by hating me and left the fandom just because I've made a fake promise! fyi I've never even promised you anything, if you heard it coming from my mouth, it got spilled out, accidentally. My bad for that, sorry!

Can my life gets any better than this? Oh dream on! Btw I bet after I left my favourite nightclub, the Bootsy Bellows, tonight, those paparazzi would trail me down until I've reached Astro Burger for my supper. Hiding behind bushes, walls or anything they could find to be invisible, clicking on those DSLRs non-stop! Alas, showing off pictures and a video of me eating a burger like a pig! I sense more tension coming about in my fandom, concerning of what I'm eating! You need to know that Veggie Burger do exist! Again, they will say I'm a fuckin' liar on being a vegetarian for just seeing me eating a patty-looking burger!? Thought my life in L.A would be a heaven on Earth but turns out, it is actually a dark realm of where my nightmare came to live! I wish I could get the album process to be done soon so that I can fly back to my homeland. Now that the DSDS show is over, there's no reason for me to return to Germany, why did I even have the idea of moving to L.A in the first place? Oh wait, I forgot. Too many stalkers. So much of wanting an escape from that, I wasn't aware that L.A has a few stalkers too here and there, they're not many but still, they're here! But at least I could breathe a little since they would prefer chasing after the Hollywood stars more than my brother and I. The expenses here may be pricey but hey, it's worth every dollar I own! My band has been around for a long time, you couldn't imagine how much Euros we earned, all thanks to the Aliens! But still, some made a rumor saying the Kaulitz twins have gone bankrupt! And we chose to be in DSDS just to get more money to continuously living in a fame life. Bullshit! If my wallet is anorexic, I wouldn't be working my ass off with the new album in L.A! I would fly off to Germany, A.S.A.P and finish it there with a local recording label. I know I can be dumb sometimes but truth is, I'm a smart-ass too! Then again, people would rather notice my mistakes than my virtues!

"Gahhhhhhh this stresses me out!" *light up a cigerette* Are you still mad at me for smoking? But why do you even bother of what the hell am I doing with my life?! Hold on, again I forgot. I am a famous Rockstar! Pitiful isn't it? Gosh! I need to remind myself that "I'm a Rockstar and I can't have a normal life" like in every second! Oh dear Lord, forgive me for I have sinned you of having a love/hate relationship with my reality life, sigh.