ACG: A Christmas Love Story Winner!

It was a tough decision to make since all of your stories were very creatively done! But it only takes one story that managed to blow us away in joy and drown us in tears. And so here we are to announce ..we would like to congratulate, Miss Verena from Belgium! White Christmas is chosen as the best Christmas Love Tale out of all! Congratulations, your custom-made Tokio Hotel jersey will be wrapped beautifully as your Christmas present from us, this year! We would also like to thank all the Aliens who worked so hard on writing to us some awesome Tokio Hotel Christmas imagines! They are all to love! Til then, we're closing chapters as being a part of this wonderful #AliensChristmasGifts project. Merry Christmas in advance. Here's the winning entry as we've promised to post on our blog, enjoy! ;) 

 24th of December 2013, Christmas eve’

Verena P.O.V.
I go to the living room of mine and Bill’s apartment.
He is sitting on the couch, zapping through some TV channels.
“When is the family coming?” I ask him
“They aren’t coming.” He says
“Huh, why?” I feel confused.
“I cancelled the party.”
“I don’t get it?”
“I want to celebrate christmas with you and only you.”
“Not even Tom?”
“Nope, only you and me tonight, babe.”
“Well alright.” I smile and sit down next to him. He wraps his muscular arms around me and hugs me from the side. He removes the hair that came into my face and puts it behind my ear.

“I got you a present.” He tells me
“I secretly got one for you, too.” I say and he smiles
“Really? Can I have it already?”
“No, you have to wait, impatient Bill.” I laugh as he sticks out his bottom lip and pouts.
“That doesn’t work on me, you baby.” I say and slap him gently across the arm.
“Pweaaase?” he pouts even harder.
“God, you’re unbelievable!” I half-yell jokingly. He smiles.
“I love you.” He says into my ear and kisses my temple. I turn my head and kiss him lightly on the lips. I can’t ever get enough of his lips, those 2 lip rings make the kiss even more perfect.
“I love you, too.” I say and he kisses my nose.
“I’m going to take you out. Be ready in 30 and put on that black dress.”
“Okay, I’ll be quick.”

I half-run into the bedroom, open the drawer and take the black dress. I run into the bathroom and dress up. I brush my hair and apply a natural make-up look. A little eyeliner, mascara and apply a light blush. I take one last glance in the mirror and go back outside. I put on my black heels as Bill returns from his bathroom. His blonde hair in a quiff, a leather jacket, a white tank top and a black jeans.
“You look amazing.” He tells me and winks.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” I flirt back.
“Let’s go.”

The whole drive was quiet, until we arrived at the fanciest restaurant in Los Angeles.
“Really?” I say full of happiness. We enter the restaurant and a waiter guides us to our booth. Bill reserved a spot next to the window. It’s snowing. We can overlook the whole skyline of Los Angeles.
“A white christmas, it is.” He sweetly says
“This is absolutely breathtaking!” I answer
“Drinks?” a waiter asks and I take a Chardonnay, but Bill doesn’t because he needs to drive later on. We both order our food and talk a little about the new album. They are about to make a huge comeback. The fans had to wait almost 4 years and they have worked so so hard. We both order a dessert. Suddenly, a waitress comes up with a huge cake. There is a box on top and there’s “Will you marry me, Verena?” written on the cake in sugar coating. My mouth falls open.

Bill takes the box of the top of the cake, walks up to me and kneels down on one knee. “Verena, this is the reason why I didn’t invite anyone. We haven’t been together for that long, but you know I believe in love at the first sight. I have waited so, so long for someone to show up. And when I first saw you, I knew it, immediately. You are the one who stole my heart. And I want you to keep it. Will you, Verena, marry me?” he says. I am already in tears.

“Yes, I will.” I stick out my hand and he slips the ring on my finger. We both stand up and kiss, everyone is clapping and cheering. The cake is being cut and everyone takes a piece from it. We pay for everything and return to the car.

The ride is quiet, there is some christmas music playing on the radio and Bill hums along. We are on a highway going 100miles per hour. The christmas music suddenly stops and someone on the radio starts talking. “Everyone riding on Highway A75, drive carefully. There is a phantomr-“

“BILL, WATCH OUT!” I scream as I see bright lights coming scaringly close. The phantomrider drives into our car and we both scream loudly. My sight turns black.

 Bill’s P.O.V. (at the hospital)
“Where’s Verena?” I poorly ask the Doctor. I feel like absolute shit. I’m destroyed.
“We are very sorry, but there was nothing we could do to help her.” He says and I feel my heart break in a million pieces. My pulse speeds up and a tear rolls across my cheek. My pulse speeds up more and more. I start feeling really weak and feel my eyes close, my hearing dissapears as I hear the doctor scream for help.

“At least she said yes..” I weakly whisper and my vision goes black.

 The end.

Halloween Special: Twins Body Swap!

It was almost midnight, the air filled with fogs that embrace one with coldness. The street started to cramped with various dead creatures, a gruesome zombie bride with hollow eyes, a horrifying headless knight that holds a bloody axe, a scary satan with sharp horns and teeth, a creepy reaper with the grimmest smile, a dreadful dracula that has blood stains all over, not one to be seen in the loveliest costume of a hilarious hotdog, a handsome sailor, an angel or any beautiful mythical beings that ever been known. They were all seemed to be ugly and mortifying, wandering about the street as if they came from the land of the dead. Halloween. That was when the nightmare came to live!

Themed parties held in L.A clubs brought all the sinners in to make Halloween as an agenda for even young adults to enjoy. It was a festive to be celebrated by all stars including half of the band members of Tokio Hotel. The Kaulitz twins never stand a chance to miss it for the world.

"Oh schisse!" cursed over his failure, the black liner was smeared to his temple as Tom was trying to create a masterpiece for his undead pirate look.

Beside him, stood Bill who was adjusting his own make-up, looking like an Amun-Ra, shinning like the God of the Sun with his golden crown and chains hanging heavily on his neck. "Do you need help, bruder?" Putting down his glittering gold foundation, he stopped and just stared at his twin brother, offering a help that needed his expertise.

"Don't bother, I can do it!" Being boastful as he is, Tom managed to rub off his smeared eyeliner, and once again, trying to hold the pen still but his hand was undeniable shaking. Another line was drawn and yet again the same mistake was repeated. "Schiesse! I can't do it!"

Bill rolled his eyes and immediately grabbed the pen from Tom's hand. "You idiot, just let me do it for you! Look at me and stand still."

The both of them stood still, 6 feet tall, facing each other as if they were resembling a mirror to one another. Their eyes were locked in a gaze for momentarily. Secretly, Tom was admiring Bill's beauty and Bill was admiring Tom's beauty. The longer they stare, the harder for them to pull away. There was something glistening in both of their brown eyes, an entity longing for a help, revealing a trapped lost soul within each one of them that hungers for an escape. The troubled souls carried a burden of pain that they couldn't longer hide. Bill was envy over Tom's happiness while Tom felt guilty over Bill's loneliness. In their minds, both planted the same thought of curiosity. "How is it like to be you?"

The clock strikes 12 and the scariest night of the year has eventually arrived. The lights flickered and the next they knew, it was their own body and face they saw standing right in front of them. The both of them gasped in shock. How could Tom saw his own self, a perfect clone of himself who was jaw-dropping in shock too. Likewise, the scene occurred to Bill as well. They are indeed identical twins but it never crossed their mind that they look exactly alike to one another at that very moment since their differences are very much appealing. It felt as though they were facing their own image in the mirror when the fact that they were actually standing right in front of each other.

The lights flickered once again and as the room returned to bright, the both of them could see each other again, Tom was seeing Bill and Bill was seeing Tom. Although, they knew well that they saw an exact vision of themselves for a split second there. A sudden white noise came from the tv from the bedroom they were in, locating a bad reception from the satellite. Strangely, a voice was heard within the white noise. "Becareful what you wish for on Halloween!" after the message was delivered, the tv tuned back to its previous channel.

Bill and Tom plastered a terrified look on their faces. They thought their minds were playing some tricks but to witnessed the voice from the white noise together at the same time, it was something for them not have doubts on its occurrence. It was actually happening and it was real or was it?

"Hey guys, be ready in 10. we'll wait you downstairs."

To heard upon Ria's reminder, both Bill and Tom snapped back to reality. The room fell silence as they tried to ignore of what just happened before Ria came to check up on them. They wanted to talk about it but there wasn't much time as the clock was ticking and they were chasing it to attend a party. The mysterious thought was abruptly erased and Bill was back to his job for the Halloween night as Tom's splendid make-up artist. 

But question still remains in their head every now and then, "did we actually swap bodies?"

BK Dirty Bass Series III: Where the Wild Things Are

After a few dates consisting of endless conversation and less making out session, somehow I finally fell for him for real. He wasn't the typical guy I know, there was something special about him that made you wonder again and again on how he simply charmed you with his old-fashioned way of getting to know a person. I've always thought he could be different from others from the very start despite of him being a very famous rockstar. But I had to admit, initially I was head over heels in love with his looks since the night I saw him at the club. I wanted him because of his sexy look, it wasn't a sin but it's an ugly act that every girl should burn of desiring to get an attention from a very good-looking man. I wanted him so badly! I wanted him to be in touch with my skin, I wanted to have him for a night to get a little taste of the Kaulitz! I tried so hard to get his attention and I was indeed on cloud nine when he finally gave it away just like that. His beautiful brown eyes, they were hypnotizing me, what more? luring me into a dirty-sweet dream of something that I'd called as an art of love. I knew he wanted me too, even more badly than me but his lust was in control by his very own courteous law of seducing a woman. Bill surely has that bad boy look I'm totally into, with all the piercings and amazing tats on his skin but I never knew he has a pure heart of a gentleman until that night at his hotel room that changes my perception about guys.

Spending some time on the bed without getting laid nor drunk on the first night of our meeting was his ideal date night and it did confused me for a second there, roping me, pulling me in and pushing me back for his love game. Alas, he decided to stop and he revealed his true colours, showing off the vulnerable side of his, a hopeless wrecked soul longing for love and affection. I respected him and stayed for the night to let him know me better, and in exchange, he let me know him better too. Who have ever thought that there is still a certain kind of guy who wholly respects a woman and he's one of them. I can say I'm lucky to have met him because these kind of guys are getting close to extinction.

It was another Saturday night, the club was obviously stormed with a crowd of LA clubbers. I didn't care about the atmosphere anymore, I hit the dance floor as soon my body heard the rhythm and the music triggers my system to just move. I couldn't help but to dance, I blame it all on the beat. My hair swiftly bounced on my shoulder, from side to side, as my hips slowly swayed in a wave letting the music bathe me with its of pounding track. I couldn't be bothered by the crazy surroundings, all I wanted to do here was to dance the night away even if it's only by myself. I was so used to it and when a skeleton-tattooed hand suddenly grabbed my waist, my heart jumped a little, not really sure whether his touch has startled me or was it actually his presence? I could feel his warm breath in my hair and it spread out warmly to my ear. "Baby, do you know the art that your body created on the dance floor, kills me good?" In the corner of my eyes, I knew there was a cheeky smile smeared on his pierced lips.

I turned around to face him, wrapping my hands around his neck while still grooving my body to the beat. "You're late."

"But you, my angel has started the night without me." He pouted and pulled me close so that he could reach my lips for his quick greeting kiss.

"Oh really? Well, the night has just begun, my sexy devil." I winked flirtaciously and continued with my seductive dance after giving him a little push on his bare chest under another piece of his studded striking green jacket. The tank top he worn inside was designed rippedly on its low v-neck exposing that sexy ink on his chest which caught my eyes glistening immediately. Truth is, tattoos are such a killer to me! I love them especially when it was inked on a very sexy spot. He knew my weakness, he knew he was as sexy as hell and most importantly, he knew how to lure me in. Those sweet romantic dates we had for weeks may come in handy for us to get to the next level in our relationship but we both knew well that our lust was calling our names out loud, readily to unleash the inner beast within us. And tonight might just be the night.

I moved my body into a sultry gesture, he bit his lips hard as he saw me and through his eyes, I could see what he was hunger for. Me, my body. He was always a gentleman, refusing to ignite his naughty side but tonight seemed different. The way he looked at me, those stares of his filled with passion and no mercy. He smirked, having the thought of making me as his sweet cherry-topping dessert for tonight. They say these hopeless romantic people are even wilder on bed compared to those other jerks who makes love at any given time or place. I should be scared but somehow, I was rather curious of wanting to let his wild spirit free. He crossed his arms and kept his eyes locked to every moves I made. I was clearly making his level of lust pumped ferociously without even care to dwindle. Was it my fault that he lured me in first? In fact, I was just dancing myself away like always did. Maybe I wasn't aware that my moves was a bit sexier than usual or perhaps naughtier? As I came in close to him, he quickly snatched my waist in a full strength with his muscular arms, his grip was so tight that I could feel as though his nails were digging into my skin.

"Uh oh."

"Uh oh, indeed."

This time he side smirked and pulled me off the dance floor to the back of the club. "Bill, I...." He was undeniable hungry, leaving me breathless with no words left to speak, as his passionate kisses were signed, sealed and delivered to my mouth. They were wet but I fired him back anyway with my kisses. Our kisses were bizarrely wild from the last time, and he just couldn't stop, pressing his lips hard on mine, ignoring the fact he had stumbled onto a few people who were in line to get to the restroom.

The beast within him was longing to get out, oh how I want him for the night but the question is "..am i ready for it?"

Automatic.

Tears streaming down my eyes as my hands were on the wheels. The road was slippery but my car was at a very fast speed and I nearly skidded into a tree. I stopped the car immediately, trying my best to control my anger and sanity. I almost had the idea of killing myself in an accident, it could be as tragic as my love story. "Such a stupid act, I am better than this!" I tried to be strong but my heart just couldn't take it anymore. All the hurt, betrayal and broken promises, they ate me alive, it was far too dreadful for my heart to bear. Letting go of someone you love was the hardest decision ever but what if it was for the best? Love was always cruel to me. That was it, my last goodbye to a love once existed left me feeling broken ..maybe forever?

 

Bill: "Don´t be reckless with other people´s hearts. Don´t put up with people who are reckless with yours." - mary schmich june 1, 1997 #BTKapp

I woke up to the sound of myself singing, a high-pitched chorus of our first Humanoid's single alongside with a thumping thunder in the sky. Guess that, my evening nap was interrupted. Somehow, I felt a sharp pain in my heart of recalling the past. The dream was surreal, it came back reeling into my life without an invitation and that song I wrote just had to play as my soul was awaken to reality, how I hated this bizarre coincidence! I pulled the earphones away from my ears, wanting to stop the past from haunting my mind. But it was rather too late since my mind was already consumed by excruciating thoughts that I couldn't bear to handle, alas making me have a hatred feeling towards the four letter word, L-O-V-E.

"It's been 4 years." I heard Tom said out aloud.

My eyes were still shut tight but my mind was processing and it took about a few seconds for me to figure out the mystery between his lines. "Oh right. 4 years of Automatic." My fans may say it's an achievement but to me it was just a disappointment. Why did I even write it out as a song when the fact that it will only remind me of the pain shot by the one who broke my heart into pieces? Years have passed and yet, I'm still coping to live with a fragile heart. Some may say, I'm all fixed but why do I still feel broken? A single tear wet my cheek as I rubbed my eyes and slowly opened the eyelids, I wasn't sure whether I was crying or my eyes were just watery after that short nap.

"Oh Bill, were you sleeping?"
"Yeah, thanks for the alarm."
"You must have heard me, come on. Get your ass up, we're gonna celebrate, tonight!"

His face was radiant in excitement, even my own brother would want to celebrate our 4 years old Automatic. Again I'm not surprised, the single was indeed a hit. Who would ever thought it was meant to bring an old pain back for a stab? Oh wait, only me. No one in the band would actually felt the pain, they only gave the song, a life. The one who suffers all has got to me because it was originally written from my heart, reflecting the shattered pieces of me with a love I once had. Or perhaps, they have found the real meaning of love while I am still crawling to heal.

"Wake up, already! Go and get dress!"
 "Hey, okay okay!"

I finally got up and positioned myself to a sitting manner in my laziest gesture as Tom left our living room to join Ria in the kitchen who just came down from upstairs. He greeted Ria with a kiss and the way he looked her in the eyes with the feeling of love just burns a hole through my heart. I was feeling envious, not over Ria but Tom. That happy look on Tom's face I saw everyday, soothes my bruised heart little by little. If my twin could be happy when it comes to love, perhaps I could be happy too one day. Then again, my mind made me wonder, why can't I have happiness in love? Each time I've encounter one, pain was always being served, good enough to wreck my tainted heart even more. To my dismay, my soul was heavenly broken and I can't fix it.

"Bill, are you okay?"

Minutes gone by and Tom was sitting next to me, noticing him was a failure as I was lost in my deep thoughts for quite some time. I wanted to scream to his face, "don't you get it? I'm always in pain." But obviously, I didn't have the guts to even whisper the word out, it would only worries him. Instead I just carved a smile to let him know I was fine.

"Yeah, all good."

Little did everyone know, I smile to hide my pain and it slowly became automatic.

Oh, Bill!

“I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love …”

The perfect song to play on the radio, as I switched the channel after getting bored of radio VJs rattling on about what other celebs think of Miley Cyrus’ performance on the VMAs. Honestly, give it a rest. To be growing up in a spotlight is not easy, there’s not even a space to breathe. It’s like your stuck in a box, with eyes watching you with such scrutiny.

But why am I even talking about her, when my feelings ventured into the deepest part of my soul, where I locked that past of uncertainty and misfortune with chains and padlocks that even Houdini will find it difficult to unravel. This song; each word, each verse, has found its way to unlock that past of mine.

“Baby.”

“Yeah.”

A pair of concerning eyes pierced through me. I’ve never felt so confused in my life. To be engaged, yet how is that even blissful when your heart is on a certain verge of free falling. In love, yet with cracks in between.

A few nights ago, in the elevator that was when we first encountered after a few years and there was not a soul in with us.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

And that was it. It was enough to have my mind reliving the scene all over again whenever I’m travelling into my own thoughts. Which happens, quite so often lately. Oh no, I’m doing it again.

“Your spacing out again. Tell me, what’s wrong.”

Bill, what can I say about him? He is perfect. Apparently, all the X and Y mixed together perfectly to have this boy. He is tall, fair, and a man who knows how to dress. He has that face that you can stare all day till nightfall without getting bored. And he’s smile, yes. My, smile. A smile that can turn my world upside down. Too heavenly, a smile that could belong to an archangel. And, he’s German. Millions of girls are still mourning over his recently engaged titled. Imagine, tying the knot to a Rock Star. That doesn’t happen everyday for girls like me, seriously.

But, yes. There is a But. But, Bill is not Him.

BK Dirty Bass Series II: Turn up the Love

She glided her body sexily on me as the music were dancing to our ears. I've been dancing with her all night long and I had to admit, dancing is actually fun. Or should I say, she made it fun. I was indeed a robot on the dance floor, as my brother would always tease me judging by the fact of how my killer body would shake in a very slow motion to a very lively music. What a shame! Hence, I prefer to hang out at the booth more than actually shaking my ass under the colourful spotlights. It was from there, my eyes caught her on a particular night. She wasn't that wild with her moves but she was sexy enough to have grabbed my attention, swaying her body in a beautiful wave, like an alluring art painted on a plain white canvas and guilty as charged, I'm an absolute art lover. It surprised me that, how could others not fascinated over her? Always dancing alone every weekend, getting her body lost into the rhythm of music played in this favourite club of mine. She's like a great piece of art that nobody would even dare to touch or maybe more like Vincent van Gogh's The Starry Night, such exquisite masterpiece that none would be allowed to touch. Perhaps all of them were drunken heavily to have not noticed her. Although, I can tell that some men would rather choose a sluttier version of her to have fun and dance with. Her clothes was always sexy but in a decent way, compared to all the other girls who showed off a lot of their skin as much as possible. She didn't need to do much effort because whatever she's wearing, she will look just that sexy, especially to my eyes.

"Is it me or am I the only one who thinks she's like an angel at first class?" She seemed to be too precious, making me feel coward to get on my feet to approach her. It really got me, one night though as I couldn't see her anywhere in this club. I waited every weekend but misery was all I feel of not seeing her face again. I regretted on being such a coward and to have missed my chance to actually know a beautiful stranger. I've lost her. Hence, a party in honouring my stupidity was thrown. And how lucky was I to deserve a second chance when I saw her trapped in the middle of the packed dance floor. Did she come to laugh at me for being the stupid one here? I don't think so. All I could say, it's fate. I grinned big, looking like a clown but then my face turned horrifyingly panic as I saw her heading to the main door for an exit, I knew I just had to stop her and make her stay.

I avoided myself from talking while we were dancing intimately with each other. Was it even possible for a chatterbox like me to be all tongue-tied? I guess, I was still in quite of a shock to be slapped by the power of fate. Truthfully, a golden opportunity to feel and touch this masterpiece of art was good enough for me to turn off all the countless miseries in life that I have suffered all this while for just this one night. The current music pumped its last beat and I took her by the hand, pulled her away from the dance floor to my V.I.P booth. My friends were in a group discussion, sipping, getting drunk with the booze they ordered for the night and my twin brother, Tom was seen to being making out with his girlfriend at the corner, it was kinda disturbing but somehow, it gave me the idea to do the same thing to her as I grabbed her close and started to nuzzle under her neck with my deadly smooches. My kissing pattern grew wildly from her collarbone to her lips. As much as I hate to make this club as the spot of where I've kissed her for the first time, her lips was just too delicious for me to resist. She kissed me back passionately, and I pushed her to the couch to fired up the scene. She pursed her lips, waiting patiently for my next move. But then I came to my senses, "I don't want this." We were sober enough to know what could it lead to after this. I pulled her shoulder, motion her to stand up and she seemed confused.

"I have a better idea. Will you follow me?" I whispered to her ear, hoping she won't turn down my offer. She remained quiet but a smile was carved on her red lips. She then just nodded and I smiled back as her agreement filled up my happiness. I took her hand once again, making our way through the crowd and brought her outside using the back door. I called my driver to pick us up right away. He drove us to the nearest posh hotel that I have requested. I kept her hand tight onto mine as we exchanged smiles and stares, coyly. She looked so beautiful even in the darkness of night and I bet she would glow radiantly when the sun came up. Up on the hills, there was this beautiful hotel of where I've always stayed in just to admire the sunrise and sunset. I had my hopes high that she was really into me as how I was into her. I felt the sudden urge to bring her there, taking it as the first step to show her my world and the real me. The journey took about a few minutes for me and her to wasted it away with an utter silence but with a pinch of flirtiness that got our cheeks blushed red as our ride finally arrived on driveway of the hotel.

Room 483 was always and forever will be my favourite. I swiped the card to unlock my suite while my hand was on her waist and my lips was doing its work of magic on her lips. As the door opened, I took her into my temporary lair and pushed her back on the wall, pressing my lips even harder and gave the door a kick to close it for good. Privacy is surely a privilege. Simply dropping the access card of my suite from my hand to the floor as they went under her top and all over her sexy back. I stopped myself again before my fingers were tingling to unhook her bra. I just stared at her, deeply in the eyes and lure her with another invitation. "Come." She giggled and I could tell she was loving this love game I was playing with her.

I led her into the bedroom and as I have expected, she was in awe to see the view of the starry night sky through the sliding glass doors. "Wow, this is beautiful."
"Not as beautiful as you, angel." She just leaned her head on my shoulder and we just stood there momentarily to gaze at the beautiful dark sky. We could stay like this for the whole night but I decided to continue of where I had left on, gently lay her down on the king-sized bed. She pulled that mesmerizing smile of hers again in order to seduce me. I took off my studded jacket and threw it on the floor. She bit her lips as my loose tank top was taken off right after, with her own beautiful hands. I could feel her soft touch as she traced the tattoo on my chest. "I love your tattoo." She said. And before she could make me weak on the knees with that familiar smile again, I kissed her lips immediately and pulled her top out from her torso. I crawled on top of her and at the same time, moving us from the end of the bed to the head. She seemed so delicate with her kisses while I was hungry like an animal. "Am I too desperate of wanting to have a one night stand with her?" My mind pondered and then, I stopped again. "I really like you but I don't know your name and this isn't me, not my style. I'm sorry." I sighed after apologizing over my animal-like behavior and let myself fall next to her on the spacious bed. She gave a peck kiss on my cheek and I had the feeling she would stand up and leave me there as I rejected myself from making love to her, were her next moves. But to my surprise, she laid her head on my washboard abs and grabbed my hand to play with my skeleton-tattooed fingers. "So, what do you want to know about me?"

I had fun talking to her all night, as we were getting to know each other, also, laughing together at any chances we could get. It lasted for quite some time until both of us fell asleep. I could not wait to see her face next thing in the morning. The ray of sunlight was shining gladly and it woke me up, only to a disappointment. She was gone and I've lost her again. I knew she would run, I mean which girl would actually want a guy who is a hopeless romantic and believes that sex without love is just nothing. I let out a big sigh and headed to the balcony through the sliding doors. The sun was rising as I took a puff on my cigarette, galloping myself with pain and a feeling of emptiness. I felt as if my soul was taken away.

"Good Morning, Bill."
I suddenly heard her, it was her voice, did she just come back or was I hallucinating? I dared myself to turn around, least expecting to see her standing there but my expectation became a reality. There she was, looking twice gorgeous under the sunlight and her magenta hair was glowing heavenly. Her torso was still half naked, revealing a sexy black lace lingerie she had worn since last night. She didn't leave me after all, to my amusement she must have dropped by the suite's pantry to make some coffee as they were two mugs held by her hands. Such a lovely morning it was, to be greeted with a smile from an angel that fell from heaven.

"Oh Mein Gott, I think I'm in love."

Oh, Tom!

“Hey, I’m going out for a sec.”

Just a post-it on the side table with those words scribbled in such a scurried handwriting. And just like that, I never saw him again. He disappeared, like a scared little boy. Love, is a word that boy could never understand. Love, is foreign to him. But Love, is everything to me.

Distraught and fueled with fire, ready to charge, ready to pull a trigger, I felt every inch of my body trembled with such fury. That was the first wave of emotions after being used like a recycle bin. The second wave hits with no mercy, streams of tears, and a heart that ached a sea of misery. Lastly, the third wave; I let it go.

Three years later, there he is with an Ariel in his arms beaming with such happiness and it hit me; the word hypocrite tainted on his forehead. He told me, he could never fall in love, he could never settle with one girl but that was just petty lies isn’t it, Tom? I was fooled, yes.

Reviving the part where I did say love is everything to me, well I meant was. Silly, little girl thinking that fairytale love do exist, but can they co-exist with cheaters, liars, and snaked bastards like him? I don’t think so.

To end up marrying a man who’s name is even more famous than your own president, who’s traveled the world to consume fandom, who’s band is the most celebrated band in Germany, that is just a nightmare that your heart disguised as a dream because it will never come true unless, you are stepping on the same stone as him; a rockstar. Unlike me, I was just a fan who struck gold one night.

Though, save the salty pool of tears. Revenge is a sweet, silent killer that doesn’t involve a dead body but a series of unfortunate events and an unwanted happy ending. If Tom’s a cold blooded horrendous soul who “doesn’t” believe in love. There’s always a hopeless romantic version of him. A real life version, except with a little more wit and a little more good looks.

How does it feel, Tom to know your little brother is engaged to a girl you once told her she was your love at first sight? One week, that was all it took for us both to fall in love. Only one special day, for me to break you.

There it was a card delivered right in front of his doorstep.

 “You are Cordially Invited to …& Bill Kaulitz Trümper wedding.”

 Scratch the fact that I struck gold, I think I struck platinum.

BK Dirty Bass Series I: If I Die Tomorrow

Laser neon lights shaded in blue, red, green were shooting across the dark room, the ground was shaking as the speaker gagged some raunchy loud music and the heat was totally unbearable! "How can they even breathe in here?" I was panting, inadequate of oxygen, trying to get myself out from the dance floor while the wild crowd seemed to be pushing me with their art of body gesture to the sexy beat from Pitbull. It was a typical Saturday night party of booze and sultry music, it is where all hell break loose, of where the sinners unfortunately getting drunk and high, throwing away with the idea of being a saint.

Truthfully, I hated this club! But If you were asking me why the hell did I sign up for it at the first place? The answer is because of him, the one who was always seen lounging around in the V.I.P section. This was his favourite club. Every weekend one of the V.I.P booths was being booked for his presence. All eyes on him as he entered the club, strutting in like a rockstar. Well, he is in fact one. And my sight never fails to be taken away by his inhumanly beautiful face. He loved it there, in his private booth, away from everyone, with having only a few people from his clique. And even if the music was pumping too loud, he finds it rather peaceful to just sit there and relax, sipping his whiskey & coke while puffing his cigarette on the other hand. I have never seen him coming out from the booth, making his way in style to the dance floor. Maybe dancing isn't his thing. Although sometimes, I did notice his body was getting into groove, following to the wave of the music. Oh how I wish to dance with him! I never really liked to dance, but somehow his dashing look and sexy body makes me feel all jittery from the inside. Kill me for being a sinner of lusting for him. All thanks to him, I just couldn't leave this place for good even though I hated the crazy club atmosphere they have it in here, always too crowded and too wild. Although, I've been longing to get his attention for far too long now. But what can I say, he's a rockstar and I'm just an ordinary girl in a sexy clothing, trying my best to create some sexy dance moves with my sexy body just to get a little attention. As if seeking for an attention from him or anyone else is gonna be that easy since there are a lot more of my species pulling their best clubbing outfit ever equipped with an exotic look and intoxicating moves, dancing the night away in this particular LA club. I had given up on getting his eyes laid on me, indeed he usually shoot his stare at the dance floor but obviously not at me.

Long gone the days of my act of stalking and stealing the attention from a rockstar who happened not to fall for it, anyway. It's been weeks since I've last visited this club and I just had to choose this Saturday night of horror to make a comeback. It wasn't really a good night, especially when you're trapped in a storm of heavily drunken people in a middle of the dance floor. The club was undeniable full and packed because of this stupid someone was hosting a party for the night! And I guess the host has decided to suck all the people from LA in! I wonder who was the 'genius' behind the idea of throwing a party at the most famous club in town when it is already packed every Saturday night. Feeling claustrophobic, all you have in mind was to leave. The music was still drumming in my ears as I was making my sweet escape through the crowd. The exit door was still far from my reach, no way I could leave this place any time soon. "Guess I'm stuck in here for the whole night." I stopped and sighed. But at least the crowd was slowly moving away as the music paused, giving me some air to finally breathe. I turned my back around, helplessly giving up to use the main door for an exit, "or maybe they can let me use the back door" ..and there it was, a silhouette figure of a person who clearly has a killer sense of style, standing in front of me, right in the middle of the dance floor.

I couldn't really see who it was but I could feel his eyes were staring at me. I totally ignored him as my mind kept flashing the idea of using the back door as an escape route. "Leaving too soon?" In the midst of a booty-shaking track from Far East Movement, I could hear him whisper to my ears as I came in closer to walk past him. He grabbed my arm quickly before I could even make my next move and I shuddered at his sudden touch. Clearly this club rat wouldn't let me go if I just ignore him. So, I decided to play along. "What's in it for me that worth my stay?" The lasers were shooting in a fast motion, flickering and changing its vibrant colours in each second, I couldn't really see his whole face but I caught him smiling. Judging by his charming smile, I knew he would be one of the guys I would totally go for. Although, those snakebites seems pretty familiar.

Catchy beat was still banging and roaring the club scene but this time around, the lines of the song were dancing away in a melody. It was sang by a beautiful voice, I presumed layered with an auto-tune. I recognized the song, it was his voice, the rockstar I long laid my eyes on. 

"If I die tomorrow-o-ow, 

That-That m-means we had the night of our life! 

If tomorrow-o-ow never comes, 

Then-Then tonight we lose control!" 

"The song tells it all, do I need to say more?" I could see his eyes now under a strip of a laser light, they were seducing me with his playful wink.
"Is this how you asked a girl to dance? by using lines of a song which happens to appear on a right timing?"
"Those lines are originally mine, fair enough. You see, I've been waiting for you to come back and you came right on time, welcome to my party." With a pinch of flirtiness, he smeared another cheeky smile on his face and right instance, my night vision was getting clearer and it immediately stunted me. Killer style, deadly smiles and gorgeous face, it was none other than him, Bill fucking Kaulitz!

The crowd was getting back to their wilderness, pushing me directly to him. I fell on his chest and I could hear his heart was beating and pounding fast, and so as mine. Bill couldn't help but to smile even more. He then, leaned in close, lifting up my chin and purposely brushing his luscious lips on my blushed cheeks to give me an inviting whisper, "I want a dance. And I want you, sexy angel."

Party Like a Rockstar!

Here I am, yet again, spilling my sorrow to all you shameful readers out there. Shame on you who would want to know the secret lies within my pathetic rockstar life. But no matter, I'm here to share. How's life been so far for a young German rockstar like me? Well, life has been supa great! Of course, living in L.A really paid off! I've been partying almost every weekend, or should I say everyday? I dare you to judge me! Pfft..this is like the only time where I can find a peace of mind outside the tensed studio life. Give me a break, when I say the album is on going and will be out soon, trust me, it will! It may take some time but heck, stay patient now people. I need to enjoy my life too, who says you're the only who could do that? I won't be getting my freedom once the album is out, can't you understand that? Sigh. So in the meantime, let me partay! What? You hate me for partying? You want me to stick my butt in the studio 24/7 and get the album done a.s.a.p? What? I can't hear you, the music is too loud! #YOLO

To tell you the truth, that EDC party was the bomb! I had a blast! Yeah, that's how you rolled in Vegas, baby! And who needs Tom now? He can go party elsewhere and have all the fun with his girlfriend but for I, on the other hand couldn't care less about it! Plus, they need to get themselves a room! Well hello, little brother is always around and I'm not blind, you know! So what the heck? I got my party crew by my side and we're ready to party at any time and any where we want to! Booze, ciggy and booty-shaking music, oh this is the life of a lonesome rockstar! Hell yeah!

Can't forget my EDC Weekend! - Bill 

Damn I wish I could get laid with a random pretty girl at the bar! Too bad, my head consumed me with thousand thinking thoughts and I ended up muttering to myself, "better not!" Yes, Bill Kaulitz. It's dangerous! No, you're too dangerous! Certainly not going to unleash my inner lust for a one night stand, not my expertise, sorry. Hence, I'll be sitting at the lounge, doing what I do best; puffing the smoke away with a ciggy, eye-candy on people while talking to some designers who I must say, really enthusiastic on promoting themselves to let me hire them for my next wardrobe collection or making me as one of their models, perhaps? Obviously, they couldn't deny the fact that I'm hot and wanted! *flips hair* oh wait, where's my hair? Opps, silly me, I'm a baldly now! but I'm hot, still. and yes, I'm Bill, still :D

I am Bill Kaulitz, your fuckin' Rockstar!

WARNING: THIS IS ONLY A FICTION.

The afternoon scorching Sun of L.A breaks in my window and yet another 'wonderful' day of my life has just begun. I force myself to open my eyes, sighing and wishing it would be night instead so that I could continue with my hibernation. Unfortunately, my energy bar is at its fullest, no way I could go back to sleep! "Oh scheisse! Why do I have to get up?" *bury my face in the pillow*

I wish to be in dreamland forever, wanna know why? I hate my life! Yes, even though I'm a famous person, a Rockstar, a sexy one, not to mention ..who got million of girls all over the world begging on their knees just to get my attention! which eventually they won't getting any. Pfft, I do feel tired at times living in this stardom life, for all that matters I'm just loving the luxurious treatment being served if you are one. I love being treated as a king, heck they (my fans) even gave me a nickname that goes by 'Lion King' coincidentally just because of my lion mane hair! More reasons to love the Aliens, danke. But somehow, I have to admit at times, they drove me mad! Easy to say, everyone drove me mad! It's like everything I do and every step I take, I'm being watched over. Did someone hire a secret agent to spy on me? Oh wait, that's just the paparazzi! Chasing me like an idiot, and I feel like laughing my ass off because some of them doesn't even know who am I and yet they still chase me crazily as if I'm a delicious mouth-watering meat to feed on the lions. Again with the lion, sorry couldn't help myself with this big cat! You see my problem here? I'm a fuckin' rockstar but I hate being the center of attention when it comes to filming my private life. "Shut the fuck up, Bill Kaulitz! You're the one who chose this path!" my inner self kept telling me that every time I started to whine about my 'oh-so-amazing' life! Most of the time, I feel like I'm being trapped, caged, imprisoned or whatsoever you called it by reality. I know reality bites! but my reality bites me 'good'!

For God's sake, I can't even date anyone at the moment! I can but I refuse to. Hence, I've created tons of statements saying, "I haven't found the right one yet.", "I still believe in love at first sight.", "I have no time for love.", "I will wait until love come and fly to me." and bla bla bla ..yes, just to please the society! I might have a feeling that they can't even handle themselves, seeing me having a lover now, can't they? Heck, I'm still curing myself from my previous heartbreak, well at least I think I am. No wonder all of my song words sounded like melodramatic shit! In that case, I should scream out loud, "Hey everybody, I'm still single and nobody loves me!" to make a clear statement to all of you! Happy now? I know I'm not. Someone out there is waiting for me but I don't wanna risk my life of finding my angel, it's an a act of suicidal! Yeah, I'll be facing a funeral party if I do that because I know my adoring fangirls would be mourning over the death of my single-and-lonely relationship status, some would rather see me turned gay too! That's a no surprise, I've been called gay from the very moment I started out my music career! All thanks to my androgynous look and killer style! Secretly, I'm getting sick of it! Hence, it came to a point where I started to cut my hair short, grow stubble, ditch the eye-liner and gain muscles! Do I look pretty to you now? Yes? No? Oh well, at least I've tried to shake it off the pretty look but no matter how hard I've tried, I am still the same old Bill Kaulitz. Although I look manly now, people won't stop saying I'm gay because I still believe in true love. Wtf, right? People judge me too quickly and I can't even pull a smile on my face and stare at a random guy, they would ship me and that particular guy for sure! This whole thing made me think twice, am I really gay? Honestly I'm not even sure, myself. Even so, why should I announce it to the world, huh? All I wanted is to be in love, simple. BUT why can't they let me be in love? Tom could but not me! It sucks like hell!

So tell me, with that, how can you live a day without being stressed out by reality? There's only one solution to that, ciggy! Puffing one after another to ease my mind over negative things. Yes, I'm addicted to smoking. I've already said once upon a time ago, I smoke like a chimney! It bothers me a lot when I jokingly said that I'm trying to stop smoking (which I am!) and people take it in seriously like serious shit! I know it's bad for my health and my precious voice but I'm fuckin' stressed out and you're making me more stressed by hating me and left the fandom just because I've made a fake promise! fyi I've never even promised you anything, if you heard it coming from my mouth, it got spilled out, accidentally. My bad for that, sorry!

Can my life gets any better than this? Oh dream on! Btw I bet after I left my favourite nightclub, the Bootsy Bellows, tonight, those paparazzi would trail me down until I've reached Astro Burger for my supper. Hiding behind bushes, walls or anything they could find to be invisible, clicking on those DSLRs non-stop! Alas, showing off pictures and a video of me eating a burger like a pig! I sense more tension coming about in my fandom, concerning of what I'm eating! You need to know that Veggie Burger do exist! Again, they will say I'm a fuckin' liar on being a vegetarian for just seeing me eating a patty-looking burger!? Thought my life in L.A would be a heaven on Earth but turns out, it is actually a dark realm of where my nightmare came to live! I wish I could get the album process to be done soon so that I can fly back to my homeland. Now that the DSDS show is over, there's no reason for me to return to Germany, why did I even have the idea of moving to L.A in the first place? Oh wait, I forgot. Too many stalkers. So much of wanting an escape from that, I wasn't aware that L.A has a few stalkers too here and there, they're not many but still, they're here! But at least I could breathe a little since they would prefer chasing after the Hollywood stars more than my brother and I. The expenses here may be pricey but hey, it's worth every dollar I own! My band has been around for a long time, you couldn't imagine how much Euros we earned, all thanks to the Aliens! But still, some made a rumor saying the Kaulitz twins have gone bankrupt! And we chose to be in DSDS just to get more money to continuously living in a fame life. Bullshit! If my wallet is anorexic, I wouldn't be working my ass off with the new album in L.A! I would fly off to Germany, A.S.A.P and finish it there with a local recording label. I know I can be dumb sometimes but truth is, I'm a smart-ass too! Then again, people would rather notice my mistakes than my virtues!

"Gahhhhhhh this stresses me out!" *light up a cigerette* Are you still mad at me for smoking? But why do you even bother of what the hell am I doing with my life?! Hold on, again I forgot. I am a famous Rockstar! Pitiful isn't it? Gosh! I need to remind myself that "I'm a Rockstar and I can't have a normal life" like in every second! Oh dear Lord, forgive me for I have sinned you of having a love/hate relationship with my reality life, sigh.

Georg, Gym, Go Figure

Georg, Gym, Go Figure

Shit, think I’ve gained a few pounds. Go figure, how am I suppose to achieve an Adriana Lima body then? Maybe, just maybe I should join those dance classes where I’d just shake my bum to the groove instead of doing those serious work outs. Plus, I get the feeling heavyweights and me won’t jell really well.

See, these thoughts keep racing through my mind as I’m looking at myself through this disappointing mirror. I could have sworn it’s laughing at me. Oh why can’t you magically transform me into anything I desire? I mean, seriously. I couldn’t ask for more right? Having Georg Listing as a boyfriend but it gets really overwhelmed you know. Especially when his best friend, Bill rocks more designer clothes than the models on the runway, more or less me. Hell, he has skinnier legs than me!

“Come on babe, you said you wanted to follow me to the gym today right?”

There you go, my rock hard bassist. Ever since he chopped off his hair, sporting the male model look, he seems to be getting more girls fondling over him. Ha, serves those twins right. Think they are so hot, well in yo’ face Tom.

Okay, guilty as charge, put me in the federal prison but yeah I do have something against Tom since he’s too boasting out of his “Hotness” sometimes. And for the record, I prefer Bill much more than him.

“Mm, how about tomorrow? I’m feeling a little under the weather today.”

There you go, I knew it. He’s going to sigh, do his little run the fingers through the hair like he knows its kryptonite to me.  And oh, these arms sneaking those tiny hot veins around my waist are making my knees trembling with his nose pressing against my forehead and that little touch of his warm luscious lips. Woah! Dang, hot momma! I feel like I’m on an adrenaline rush. Whatever this is, I sure won’t want it to stop.

“Fine, Fine. Only because I want to prove you wrong that I jog like Bill.”

Just like that, I agreed on to assign myself to this suicide mission just cause without him saying anything, only tender touches make me say yes.