Oh, Bill!

“I came in like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love …”

The perfect song to play on the radio, as I switched the channel after getting bored of radio VJs rattling on about what other celebs think of Miley Cyrus’ performance on the VMAs. Honestly, give it a rest. To be growing up in a spotlight is not easy, there’s not even a space to breathe. It’s like your stuck in a box, with eyes watching you with such scrutiny.

But why am I even talking about her, when my feelings ventured into the deepest part of my soul, where I locked that past of uncertainty and misfortune with chains and padlocks that even Houdini will find it difficult to unravel. This song; each word, each verse, has found its way to unlock that past of mine.

“Baby.”

“Yeah.”

A pair of concerning eyes pierced through me. I’ve never felt so confused in my life. To be engaged, yet how is that even blissful when your heart is on a certain verge of free falling. In love, yet with cracks in between.

A few nights ago, in the elevator that was when we first encountered after a few years and there was not a soul in with us.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

And that was it. It was enough to have my mind reliving the scene all over again whenever I’m travelling into my own thoughts. Which happens, quite so often lately. Oh no, I’m doing it again.

“Your spacing out again. Tell me, what’s wrong.”

Bill, what can I say about him? He is perfect. Apparently, all the X and Y mixed together perfectly to have this boy. He is tall, fair, and a man who knows how to dress. He has that face that you can stare all day till nightfall without getting bored. And he’s smile, yes. My, smile. A smile that can turn my world upside down. Too heavenly, a smile that could belong to an archangel. And, he’s German. Millions of girls are still mourning over his recently engaged titled. Imagine, tying the knot to a Rock Star. That doesn’t happen everyday for girls like me, seriously.

But, yes. There is a But. But, Bill is not Him.